My Memory Hates Me

Sometimes I wonder if it is possible that I have Alzheimer's or some other form of dementia. My short term memory sucks so much. Even in writing this blog I have a gigantic folder of half written little snippets of posts because I don't know how to finish them or I don't know where I was heading with them when I started. When I'm driving around I think of all these funny things that would make a good topic for a blog (or so I think), but by the time I get home from wherever the hell I was, I've lost track of what I was thinking, or I've been distracted by something shiny. Or my cat Agatha. Who is meowing quite obtrusively at me while I'm writing this, and I cannot fathom what the Christ she wants, because I've fed her already and I keep telling her she is too fat for more treats.

See there. I got off track again. Because of Agatha. My brain just doesn't like staying on any task. This also explains why I have a day planner at 24, and I religiously use it. My memory can fade so fast some times that if someone asks me to let them know when it is 8pm at 7:30pm, I have to set the alarm on my phone. And not just set my alarm, but also add a reminder to the alarm so I know who asked me to remind them.

The solution I've come up with for the forgetting what I wanted to say is to write outlines of sorts. Unfortunately this usually includes short hands like [funny thing about the cookies] and [that thing by the other thing]. Because when I'm writing it down, I think "there is no possible way that I'll forget to write this" and just put something down that I really think will jog my memory. But it never does. And then I find myself looking stupidly at the screen and calling myself all sorts of synonyms for idiot. This probably also will help to explain why I ramble. I think that if I keep talking about what is related, I might be able to somehow find myself back where I wanted to go.

Which is dumb logic really. That's like saying "well I'm lost in the woods, but I'll keep walking with no idea of where I should be going or which way I came from, because eventually I should be able to find myself where I belong." This idea might work for someone who isn't so easily distracted though. Maybe someone who isn't like me would actually find their way back onto the right path, and not find themselves following some little paw prints they found, hoping that there will be a puppy or something equally cute and cuddly at the end of those tracks. Wow. I just reread that sentence. I've come to the conclusion that if I ever get lost in the woods, I'll probably be killed by animals, because I'm an idiot.

Anyways. I need to find a solution to the "thinking of ideas in the car" problem. I can't very well write them down while driving, and unfortunately texting while driving (even if it is just sending yourself a reminder text) is illegal in Ontario. I know I could pull over to the side of the road and then proceed to write down my ideas or text them to myself, but my mind is always coming up with funny things to tell me while I'm driving. I wasn't kidding about those passengers that aren't really there. I swear there is some crazy thing going on in my car that makes me super creative, and it wears off the minute I stop driving or get out of the car. So what I need to do is get some sort of recording device that records through Bluetooth (because its hands free or illegal here) and then just ramble to myself in the car. And maybe the Bluetooth will help, because people stare at me like I'm insane when I am talking to myself in the car. Now they will probably think that I am some important business lady (not likely if you saw the way I dress) and am on the phone with important people (not just making myself reminders).

I also need to keep a notebook beside my bed. Because I often lie awake in bed and think of random stuff because I can't fall asleep. And sometimes the stuff I come up with seems downright hilarious. It's probably not; I'm just too tired to tell the difference between funny and not. But nonetheless, I should keep that notebook. I could also just keep my laptop near my bed, but that's just begging for me to get creeping Facebook and do other things that are not conducive to me falling asleep. Remember: the less distractions for me the better. The notebook would allow me to write down things I feel are important enough, and then I could review with a clear mind (well as clear as my mind gets) and try to make sense and make a post out of them.

I just wrote "get notebook + Bluetooth recording thingy" on my Monday page of my day planner. Hopefully finding these things will help me to not write another boring post like this again.


Post a Comment